A draft left camp for Leaside and we were moved into cadets' quarters, a deal more comfortable than the leaky tent Hacker and I had shared. Had it not been for Corporal McGuirk, life would have been fine for us all. But this N.C.O. took pleasure in making it as difficult for everyone as he could. There were always three or four cadets on whom he bestowed special attention, inventing fatigues for them, putting them on pack drill, getting them up for orders on every imaginable excuse. Hacker had been one of these. When he was killed the corporal turned his attention to me.
After McGuirk, the institution I most thoroughly detested was early morning parade, which necessitated shaving in the dark with cold water to be on time for it. Determined on having one good morning's sleep, I began to think about Grandy, and got out the K.R. and R. One regulation stood out. If a crime was not called within twentyfour hours it automatically became a washout. My problem was going to be to keep mine from being called within that period. But before I had found a solution I slept through an early morning parade. I am sure McGuirk let me do it in order to nail me.
"You wasn't on paraide, me lad. Orderly room at eight o'clock. Seven days paiy, seven days c.b. for you, me lad."
I got up, dressed in a leisurely fashion, and went to breakfast. On the way over I ran into my flight commander.
Eagerness to fly always made a hit with the instructors, for the faster they turned out pilots, the more credit they got. I asked if I could have a machine at 7:30. He told me to be at the hangars at 7:15 and I could have the first bus available.
I was in the machine warming up the motor when MacDonald ran over to me.
"Take off, McGuirk's on the way down to the orderly room now," he warned.
From 100 feet I saw the corporal arrive and ask for me. Someone pointed up at me,—MacDonald, I could almost hear him say in the McGuirk manner—which he and I always used in addressing the corporal.
"Look at him, there'ee goes! Want me to fetch 'im for you, Corporal?"
"So that's the gaime, me lad?" said McGuirk sticking out his undershot jaws a little further. "Well, you's for it at 2:00 o'clock, and this time you won't be in the air, me lad. This time your flight commander's been prewarned."
If I could avoid this two o'clock orderly room parade I would be safe. Not another before eight the next morning, by which time twentyfour hours would have elapsed and the crime have become a washout. My flight commander was a good sport. He grinned and shook his head when I mentioned a machine at 1:45 p.m.
"Anyway, there isn't a bus to spare," he said. "Only two in commission. Going over to A flight now to see if I can borrow one myself for dual instruction."
I happened to know the A flight commander. He had gone through Leaside when I was there working on the maps, and was a friend of Smiddy's. I hung around to see if my own F.C. was able to get a machine from him before making any move. He did. When he was in the air I went over and asked if I could have one for altitude test as I was trying to finish up and get back to Leaside.
"Ten minutes too late," said Smiddy's friend, "Your F.C. just took the only one I could spare."
"Could I get it later?" I asked. We checked over the time sheets. "From twelve on," he said. "But I must have it at three."
"You'll have her at three," I said.
"I'm doing this because I know B's up a tree for machines. But if you let me down at three o'clock, by God I'll run you in the clink."
At 1:50 sharp I was in the air. At 2:00 p.m. my altimeter registered 2000 feet.
82 Squadron sighed with relief. The O.C., Captain Andrews, was back, and Busy Lizzy was due to depart whence he came, wherever that was. Everyone had been very much on parade for three or four days following the O.C.'s return, for he did not come alone. A commission that included two brass-hats came with him. They had come for the purpose of examining our safety-belts. A little late, seeing the squadron O.C.'s had been kicking for months. Hacker had been the fourth victim of safety-belts with defective clasps since my arrival at Camp Rathburn, Deseronto. The belts were unanimously condemned when Captain Andrews suggested taking one of the brass-hats up and looping him. No brass-hat wants to be a Hacker.
"Ingram," Captain Andrews said to me after they had gone, "you made those drawings of Captain Coates over at Mohawk, didn't you?"
I admitted I had.
"Well, I've been wondering if you couldn't do something with our mess. It's pretty dismal the way it is now."
"I'll take a look at it and see," I said.
"We'll go up there now," he said
On a level with the tops of the doors and windows of the officers' mess a strip of black moulding ran all around the room. I suggested making a fresco to fill the three-foot space between it and the ceiling. The subject we decided on was a Sopwith camel chasing a prehistoric gathering of human beings and animals. But the job was one that would take time. With parades, fatigues and flying, where was I going to find it? I said if I could cut out parade and fatigues for the next two weeks and do nothing but this and flying, the job would be cleaned up by the time I was ready for Leaside.
"Start in right away, then," he said. "This will be your fatigues and parades combined."
When everyone was out of bed in the morning for six o'clock parade I awoke, turned over and slept on.
After parade McGuirk came in.
"For it this time, me lad...I got you this time. Eight o'clock," he said.
Out came his note book.
"152406 Cadet MacDonald. J!" shouted Corporal McGuirk. "Three charges, sir: One minute laite on peraide; two buttons of 'is tunic hopen, an' 'is faice not shaived."
"Anything to say, MacDonald?" MacDonald shifted from one foot to the other.
"Stand smartly to attenshun," admonished McGuirk sharply.
"Well, sir, it was this way. Someone swiped my razor, sir, and by the time I found it, sir, it was too late to shave so I just came the way I...."
"Seven days c.b.," said the orderly officer.
"'Bout turn...quick march!" yelled McGuirk.
It was my turn next.
"'Awit!" shouted McGuirk.
As I faced the orderly officer I brought my heels together with such force that I came near kicking myself off my feet.
"Charge?" inquired the orderly officer.
"Habsent on peraide, an' not the first time neither, sir. Gettin' to be a 'abit with 'im, it is. A malingerin' cadet with a hanswer fer heverything. Sea-lawyer's wot they call 'is kind in the naivy. Never shaived, boots never shined, buttons never polished. 'Ave me 'ands full to find out when 'ee's in camp, sir. This morning, still in 'is bed, an' peraide hover, 'ee sez to me: 'hI come 'eere fer flyin', hI did, not fer peraidin'. Waike me at 7:30 fer breakfast, 'ee sez to me—like I was 'is bleedin' batman!"
During this verbal testimonial the orderly officer had been turning over some papers.
"Here we are," he said, and began to read aloud:
As from this date Cadet Ingram will be at the sole disposition of his flight commander and myself. He is exempt from parade and from fatigue duty until further notice.
Andrews.Capt. 82 C.T.S.
The orderly officer looked up.
"Dated yesterday," he said. "Case dismissed."